Astro Iris Affirmations, mantras, and verbal practices of all kinds have become so trendy that we half-expect miracles to pop up in our lives just because we’ve chanted them a certain number of times a day for a set period. Spoiler alert: that’s not quite how it works.
Let me start with the punchline of this article: No, don’t just “love yourself as you are, only if…” well, keep reading.
For this piece, I’m zooming in on the affirmation “I love myself as I am! ♥️”. It’s one of the most in-your-face, shove-it-down-your-throat phrases out there, thrown around in all sorts of therapies by anyone who’s jumped on the self-help bandwagon.
We humans come into this world for all sorts of reasons, each with our own cosmic blueprint. One of those reasons? To evolve. Growth happens through learning and experimenting—or sometimes experimenting first and learning from the mess we make (ours or someone else’s).
How do we know evolution is part of the deal? Well, we start as tiny, squishy babies, stumble through life’s wild ride, and eventually grow into “big people”—you know, adults. That journey from small to tall is evolution in action, plain and simple.
Sometimes, we turn to therapies as a way to experience, letting others guide us toward the growth we think we need. Guidance comes in many forms, but today, let’s talk about those repetitive affirmations and messages therapists love to prescribe. They tell us to repeat, like a cosmic broken record, a certain phrase X times a day for X weeks. So, with all the faith of a kid waiting for Santa, we chant:
“I love myself as I am.”
“I love myself as I am.”
“I love myself as I am.”
“I love myself as I am.”
…
“I love myself as I am.”
We keep at it for the prescribed time, but then… crickets. Nothing changes. And we start wondering if there’s something wrong with us.
Here’s the tea: the only thing “wrong” is that we don’t truly believe we love ourselves as we are. If we did, we wouldn’t need to parrot it out loud like a self-help robot. We’d just act like we love ourselves—because we would.
Our belief is too small, too fragile to spark the kind of change we’re hoping for through these practices.
Now, let’s circle back to that evolutionary path. Every one of us has a purpose, a goal, a “mission” we’re working toward. Once we nail one mission, we might take a breather (or not, depending on who you are), and then—bam!—a new mission pops up. A new need, a new goal. This cycle keeps going until we hit our personal peak, the max level of growth we’re capable of in this lifetime. After that, we might stagnate, check out, and quietly exit stage left.
Depending on your life’s context, these missions might come naturally, from your own inner spark (that’s a whole other conversation), or they might be thrust upon you by life itself. Because, like it or not, life is obsessed with our growth. It’s like the universe’s pushy personal trainer, always nudging us to level up. If we get too comfy “loving ourselves as we are” and stop moving forward, life comes knocking. If we still don’t budge, life doesn’t mess around—it might just bench us entirely.
So, what happens when we lean too hard into “I love myself as I am”? We either keep doing the same old things to validate our self-love, recycling the same predictable patterns with zero freshness, or we do… nothing. Because, guess what? You love yourself as you are, so why bother?
“I love myself as I am” is a snapshot, a moment in time that can invite stagnation if you camp out there too long. And that’s fine if you’re happy staying exactly where you are. No judgment.
But if there’s a part of you—deep down, whispering or screaming—that doesn’t actually love who you are right now, despite chanting the affirmation, then that’s your cue. It’s a golden opportunity to take the parts of yourself you’re not thrilled about and polish them until you can love them.
It’s your choice: stay still or evolve.
Yes, love yourself as you are in the moment. But don’t stop there—choose growth. Self-awareness will let you know when you’ve loved yourself “as is” long enough and it’s time to prep for the next chapter of your evolution. Something in you or in your life will whisper that it’s time to level up. Catch that whisper early, and you’ll start taking steps toward the new you. Ignore it, and those whispers turn into life’s not-so-subtle shoves, pushing you forward whether you’re ready or not.
So, yes, love yourself as you are in the moment—not because some guru told you to, but because you genuinely adore every part of your being, inside and out, and wouldn’t change a thing right now.
But when the time comes to polish the gem that is you, don’t shy away. Keep shining.
Love yourself as you are, but have the courage to refine what needs refining.
Add constant sparkle to your soul, and your self-love will shine brighter than ever.
From Iris, with love, much love! ❤️
